Mo Town

How quickly time flies when you’re having fun. Or when you’re not having fun and just have loads of things going on all over the place to the point that you become slightly deranged! However time flies, it sure flies better when you have the honour of nurturing a big furry caterpillar on your face. Tomorrow Movember is over and we have to return to our normal mundane lives of trips to the supermarket, nights in front of bad TV, datasets and remembering how to use a razor.

Last night we were able to celebrate in all things hairy at the Movember gala party here in our beautiful national capital. Now this was odd. It was just like going to a regular pub, the only difference being the strange men oozing from every corner, eyeing you up and checking out the facial hair. Some people were dressed a bit bizarrely too. For our part, we dressed up as people who are too busy and disorganised to make an effort. Here are some pictures from our night out in Mo Town…

Jason a bit scared of all the butch blokes

Yeah, I so belong here

Selwynator loves it! So do the groupies!


Yeah, whatever...








There's some mutual admiration going on here I reckon









Doing a Kevin...


Where's your mo Alana?


The pressure of carrying a mo has become almost too much to bear...

Remember you can still sponsor us if you like and nudge us towards the $2,000 mark. Plus for those of you out there who like research there is another little poll on the right to keep you happy!

Victory tour

Results from our poll just in show the majority of you (70%) would like to see the mo's go on tour. Well fans, the good news is we... er... probably won't be able to actually as we have no money and we can't justify the luxury travel our splendid mo's deserve. However, it's not all bad news as the Selwynator will be airing his hairing in Sydney over the weekend, Jason will be showing what he's got to Ruddland, I mean, Queensland, and Neil will be appearing at a Westfield near you (in which case you might want to give the shopping a miss).

In true rigorous evaluative execution of a conceptually framework based strategising portal, we would like to get your feedback on this site. The poll is over on the right. Participants will be entered into a special prize draw*

*winners will receive genuine authenticated facial hair clippings along with a signed photograph of the Canberra trio. Not to be missed!

Vote 2007 - Mo decides

It’s been a tough week in which to concentrate on refining our increasingly considerable mo’s. With the impending election, Canberra is a hotbed of activity, buzzing with energy and vigour. Nothing new there I hear you cry, but the prospect of a tight race has the boys rubbing their facial hair, continually pondering the big political issues of the day.

Ben, though rightfully a fan of Mike Kelly and the Eden-MOnaro caterpillar clinging on to his top lip, is undecided. Non-committal. Sit on the fence for fear of upsetting anyone. Soft, you could say. The inner nerd in him makes Ben a bit of a Kevin M07 fan, but he is really concerned about those unions, particularly that scary music that seems to accompany them everywhere they go, throwing desks and chairs about like they own the place. All that stress can’t be good for a mo.

Neil can’t see what all the fuss is about unions, being a big fan of the Union Jack, the Loughborough Student Union circa 1997, the kebabs and spew in the gutter of Union Street, Plymouth and Rugby Union. “Hmm, I think the Aussies got scared of the Rugby Union when they realised they were actually no good at it, and that’s spread.” Being an illegal alien, Neil can’t even vote, so he’s just going to the beach and hoping that there will be more mo representation on the front bench to steer this country to signing the Kymoto protocol, setting targets on facial hair growth until 2020.

Jason is looking for growth. He doesn’t care where it comes from, he just needs to see rapid growth. Maybe some tax breaks for importing testosterone pills from lumberjacks in Alaska. Like Johnny, he’s stretching it out as long as possible in the hope that he can gain ground on those two smug Mo bros, with their fabulous working family friendly facial hair and jocular conversations.

Of course, it doesn’t matter who wins come Saturday, for the real winner is men’s health when you sponsor us. You still have time to make a difference and get that feel good factor… you know what to do. Advance Australia Hair.

Fair Mo Australia

So, a landslide for Julia Gillard in our latest poll, as she wins your vote to gain a Ned Flanders nose buddy. Would it be possible for our Jules? Hmmm, no comment.

Well, Movember is nearing its end and you may not have many more pointless little polls like this to click on, so make the most of our latest which features somewhere down the panel on the right. We’ve come attached to our mo’s and this week we’d like advice on what to do with them come the end of the month. Vote now, otherwise we might fine you.

Mo idols

Everyone needs an idol, something or someone to aspire to and to be inspired by. When I was growing up I wanted to be the weatherman on TV, then he forgot to forecast a hurricane and the trees fell down the next day and my dream was shattered. Even small countries like Australia need an idol, hence the need to saturate our screens with the quest to find one once a year.

Idol: not the only Matt with plenty of hair but too soft to grow a mo





Mo growing is no exception and the boys from Canberra have been seeking inspiration from their heroes this week as their facial forms evolve into unrestrained beasts. All this grown up mo business seems to have gone to Ben’s head, turning him from a good little boy into a hairy ruffian. We caught him in the toilet the other day (it happens… we’re close in Canberra) and were shocked to see him trying to emulate yet another Australian criminal, Chopper Read. We think he’s even trying to talk like him, but are not too sure if that’s just caused by all the V he’s been drinking.

Neil, as Neil does, looked towards the great mothership of olde England for inspiration. Being the... er… athletic type with a fondness for TV commercials it was natural of him to remember an ad featuring two decidedly dodgy mo adorned runners. Neil is clearly getting more feral as each mo minute passes and his worrying idolisation of these brutes is a further step on the dark hairy path of no return. On the plus side, he is getting a bit more exercise and seems to have even taken up running in front of whiteboards.



Jason is just plain desperate and needs a stroke of genius to propel him into the alpha mo position. Like In Rugs Warehouse and "so mad their crazy" liquidation sales, genius and Einstein often go hand in hand. Not only was Einstein a genius, he had a great mo, and this winning combination has wooed Jason into a slightly crazed stalker type worship of the late physicist. He’s even tried to activate his few remaining brain cells by coming up with complex mothematical equations in the hope of solving the age old problem of achieving the perfect mo.

Whilst inspiration from legendary mo’s across the world has given much needed focus and direction to our grooming, it is only through continual support that our sprouting hairs can blossom into utopian specimens. You (yes, you!) can keep us motivated by chipping in to help in our efforts to raise money for male health issues. Thanks again to those of you reading this who have contributed to our cause. For those who haven’t, details of how ridiculously simpler this is than going out to buy an overpriced flat white are on the right. You too can share in the mo love.

Poll results: No party preferred basis

Thanks to the 12 of you who voted for our last poll, another staggering response... I only hope you guys are better at voting in this election thing coming up they keep telling me about on the TV (something to do with scary union officials or something I think).

There wasn't really a clear winner informing us how we should dress for the end of Movember gala party. The largest proportion (33%) of you felt we should go as 70s pornstars, with 25% each for dirty hairy bikers and Village People (Ben was hoping this would be a clear winner as he's been itching to put on those leather chaps). Just 16% of you thought we would pass as sophisticated gents - a pretty good assessment to be honest.

Vote on our poll this week which is over on the right. Forget Newspoll or whatever, this is the real one which will decide who gets a free house in Canberra for four years... who would you be more likely to vote for if they had a nose buddy?

Growing those mo's

The first week of mo growing has seen the boys seek ways to nurture the foundations for a good, solid filthy mo come the end of the month. Neil ‘Tungsten Strike’ has shot out of the traps closely followed by old Purple Moon himself, the Selwynator. Jason meanwhile is hopefully being Efficient.

The boys took different approaches to cultivating their mo’s. Ben has looked to the plant world for inspiration, with the fantastic growing weather over the past week aiding his transformation from slick pretty boy to dirty hairy biker. He still has a way to go but is hanging out in the hope of more nourishing rain. Ben and his mo have also been listening to a range of mo related music (see links on the right) to encourage further growth.

Neil also looked to the elements and decided to go bush – “if you look at famous bushrangers of the past, like, er, I dunno, Skippity Jackeroo or whatever you people call these criminals, they have all sported fantastic facial features,” he said in that slightly patronising English way. The results seem to be paying off though, with some strange glances in the street and also being “increasingly attractive to flies”.



In the meantime, Jason has taken a less natural approach to mo growing, employing the services of Marion Jones’ Testosterone Pty Ltd in a futile effort to raise that whisper of hair from atop his lip. “It’s a marathon not a sprint” he said, looking enviously (and somewhat strangely attracted to) his Mo Bro’s.

The team has not forgotten there is a serious side to all this hair-raising activity and would like to thank the donors so far who have pushed us towards the $1000 mark. If you enjoy reading this, or are simply annoyed at getting emails from us, then sponsor us now! Details on how you can do this are on the right.

Cheers for now. Stay Motivated!

Latest Newspoll shows large swing to Neil

I win a large swing. Yippee! I've always wanted one in my garden.

The results of the first poll show more people think Neil will cultivate the best mo (43%), though Ben is not too far behind (31%) and a few more sneaky testosterone pills could propel him into the lead. Jason is rightly lagging behind with 18% of the vote and is praying for an Efficient style late burst of hairy growth. Only 6% of you felt that the random tramp in the street would grow the best mo. To be honest, I don't even know where the random tramp in the street has gone. I think he has been eaten by Joe Hockey.

You can vote on our latest poll somewhere on the right of this page... this week, how should the boys dress up at the end of Movember gala party?

* Caution: Poll results based on n=16 respondents but since when have I let statistical validity get in the way of a good story?

Cometh the moment

Remember remember the first of November, a typical spring day in Canberra where nothing much happens. But people are looking a bit different today. Like there is something fantastical about to happen. Like the calm before the storm. The ad break before the footy final. Lips are trembling, stubble is bristling, smooth jawlines are sweating. Across the capital, razor blades sweep along the contours of bureaucrats but three people boldly step away from the chains of the mirror and the razor blade and pronounce "come forth the first of Movember".

To follow is a month long cultivation of facial hair, the likes of which you have never seen before and probably will never want to see again. It's all in aid of Movember, and we hope to play a small part in raising awareness and funding for men's health issues, so make sure you take the opportunity to share in the love. We'll try have some fun along the way and keep you posted on the life of our mo's.

So, enter the brave trifecta...

Ben Selwyn, aka The Selwynator

Ben is used to taking in a range of mo's on his regular late night jaunts down Oxford Street when he is back in his home town of Sydney. Ben dabbled in facial hair experiments during his wild younger days, only to be put to shame by his local rabbi. A keen sportsman, Ben is a fan of the former Scotland footballer Mo Johnston. A few other titbits about The Selwynator...his dream destination is Morocco, his favourite colour is Mauve, and his favourite type of slightly pretentious art movements is Modernism.

Neil Stafford, aka A Blast from the Past with a Dirty Moustache

Neil heralds from the UK where he fondly remembers distant summers watching the mo of Merv Hughes waddling in to steamroller the English batsmen and old Boonie himself lugging it across the boundary rope so he didn't have to move his podgy little VB filled legs. Neil likes movies and has plenty of dodgy mo's to refer to in his video collection. The Blast from the Past is keen about politics and was a big fan of the British minister, Mo Mowlam. He also likes his food and misses the old Melton Mowbray pork pies, but consoles himself by listening to Motown and the song from Flaming Moes.

Jason Davis, aka Bad Boy Billy Bob

Jason has recently travelled the world in pursuit of the perfect mo... obviously there couldn't have been enough dodgy taches in his native Queensland. He nearly got lucky in Turkey but the absence of a good filthy mo left him stranded with a rose and a loaf of bread by two lonely farmers. A keen rapper and boxing fan, he idolises Mohammed Ali. Bad Boy is also keen on driving the M5 Motorway but one day wants to move to Palermo and sup on Mojitos.

We look forward to your support and hope to keep you entertained throughout this momentous month. But for now, as they say, must dash...